A grand celebration

Stella rubbed her cheek against the tuft of fur on the back of the donkey's head. She worried about ruining her wedding dress by riding on an ass, but she pressed her body against the full length of the little steed regardless. She smiled knowing that all the residents of the big castles were watching her from their enormous windows.

The duo happened upon a beautiful table in the middle of the road. It was adorned with lace and flowers. In the center of the table was a globby purple pile and next to it a card with Stella's name.
"This must be my wedding cake," she thought. She turned to look for a person to thank, but found no one. Upon returning her focus to the table, Stella saw that the donkey had eaten her cake.

Stella shook her head in frustration.

The Vortex

Stella was having difficulty finding her next class. There were too many people wandering the hallway and she couldn’t remember which locker was hers – let alone the combination. Her favorite teacher Kweebs was standing in her normal position by her classroom door. Stella approached and asked “Kweebs, do you know where my locker is. I’m super disoriented.” Kweebs replied “You have to go get a super secret senior locker. They’re located in the dark section of the school.” She pointed to a row of double doors and Stella could see that the section of the school was, in fact, quite dark. She pushed through the doors and found 9 large tables in the middle of the room. All of her things were splayed across the table like a picked over table at a garage sale. Stella ran to her things and picked up her favorite shirt from middle school – she was pissed. Who would do this? It was messed up. It was wrong. And it was just plain weird. Another student came into the super secret senior locker area and glanced nervously at Stella as he tried to open his locker.

“Did you do this? Who did this? What is going on?” Stella shouted.

The boy only trembled and stared at Stella with large eyes.

“Answer me, you dweeb.”

“The vortex”

Stella was dumbfounded. “The what? Don’t lie because I’ll find out.”

“The vortex”

Stella turned around to the exit doors and could see a sliver of light coming from underneath them. As she pushed the door open, she was sucked into the brightness.

Bowling

Emilio had risen from bed was preparing to go to work.

“Stella, we need to go bowling,” he whispered.

“Okay, we’ll go sometime,” Stella grumbled as she tossed in the sheets. “Now leave me alone – I’m trying to get some sleep.”

“Stella, we have to go bowling now. Before work.”

“Emilio, that’s lame and it’s not happening. Now stop.”

Defeated, Emilio went to the bathroom to get ready for work.

The Ghostess

The 19th century architecture of Stella's new house was beautiful. The spiraling features against the dark wood was truly a sign of craftsmanship. It was all so exciting and new - being in this new house. Emilio had already left for work and Stella cherished her few minutes alone in the new space. She walked down the beautiful wooden stair case to see Emilio's mother, Bonnie, having a cup of tea in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Bonnie. What do you think of the new place?" Stella yawned as climbed onto a barstool.

"It's a beautiful home. You two should be really proud.... I did notice that there were some issues with the front door. You might want to get that taken care of before you go to bed tonight. It's better to be safe than sorry."

Stella nodded and looked around. They did have a few projects to take care of, but nothing they couldn't handle - replacing the front door and doing a little paint touch up.

Stella walked out onto the front porch with Bonnie and inspected the defective threshold. It would need to be replaced before tonight. It was extremely difficult to close and lock, and the pre-door wasn't even attached to the house - merely propped on the porch for decoration. As Bonnie walked to her car she turned and said "Emilio forgot to take his lunch to work. Maybe you should swing by his office." "Okay, I will. Thanks for coming over, Bonnie. You can come back at any time," Stella replied. The two exchanged pleasantries and soon Stella was left sipping tea in the front yard and watching Bonnie drive away.

As she walked back up the porch, Stella got a chill. There was a certain spooky element to the house. She inspected her porch as she thought about the unique history of the house. High class southern folks with a preference toward more elaborate tastes, the murder of their daughter. Stella wasn't entirely clear of the history, but she knew that at one time a lady named Jill and her daughter Allyssa had died in the home. "Spooky!" she thought to herself.

Stella walked back into the parlor room and standing there was a pudgy, white woman with short dark hair. It was parted directly down the middle and it made the woman look extremely dowdy. "Can I help you?" Stella asked. The woman threw her head back and laughed. Her focus was incredible. "Don't you know who I am, Stella? Are you too stupid to figure that out?" the woman chuckled.

"I-I-I don't know who you are. I don't know why you're in my house. And I'm kindly asking you to leave now," said Stella.

"I'm Jill, you idiot. And I won't leave this house. You will."

Stella was inspecting the woman's face -the contorted half snarl - half smile was extremely upsetting. She quickly realized that she was in danger and this Jill character would enjoy nothing more than inflicting harm on Stella and Emilio.

"Where's Allyssa?"

"Funny you should ask, Stella. She's behind you. Gnawing away at that front door of yours. You'll never get it repaired and anyone can just....enter your home." Jill chortled.

"That means they can enter your home too, Jill. What do you think about that?" Stella's meager attempt to outsmart the spirit was long lost on the ghoul. She frantically looked around for things within arms reach before realizing that she was holding a tea-cup full of hot liquid. Stella launched the tea-cup at Jill's head and shouted, "Get out of my house!"

Jill only craned her face toward the floor and lifted her eyes. Evil incarnate. "It won't be that easy. This is my house. And I won't be leaving," Jill growled.

Stella felt the child approaching her from behind but waited until the girl was directly behind her before she spun around to apprehend the girl. With Jill's daughter in captivity, Stella could make certain demands. Her body was shaking with fear, but she refused to released the child.

"Your effort is useless, Stella. We aren't threatened by you in any way."

"Then why are you taunting me? Why bother? Can't you just live peacefully in the basement?"

"This is our house. And you will be leaving."

"Clearly, Jill, you're threatened by us. You want us to leave because you're scared. Scared of what we could do to you. And you should be. This isn't the first time I've dabbled with the paranormal."

And it wasn't.

Ghosty

Stella didn't want to be on the bus. She wasn't ready to leave town. So she called to the driver to stop and let her off. The driver growled something about now being able to stop the bus there, but she would find a parking lot to stop in later.

They were already three blocks away from Stella's house, and she wasn't sure how she was going to get home. But as fate would have it, the bus stopped at the home of PankRatz, her former boss. Stella was pretty certain that PankRatz had been turned into a ghost and Stella had boxes stored in the houses. As she stood on the sidewalk contemplating whether she should go inside, she saw Regier walking up the sidewalk toward her. They ran to one another and hugged. Regier had worked with PankRatz and probably had things stored in her old home. Stella suggested that they go inside and collect their stuff, but she didn't have any bags. Regier agreed and the two approached the spooky old building.

Stella instantly saw the boxes that they had stored there, but her fear of the PankRatz ghost was too high. She could hardly move once she was in the house. Regier was fearless. He went to the boxes and began dumping them on the floor. As he selected items he wanted to take, Stella gained enough courage to sit next to him on the floor. Regier handed her a small plastic bag and only looked at her to indicate that she should get to work. She began putting items in the small Famous Dave's bag.

The ghost of PankRatz zoomed down the stairs and Stella realized they had failed to identify the nearest exit. Regier pointed at a door and told Stella to go, but she wouldn't leave the house without him. So she grabbed his arm and dragged him through the door. The ghost of PankRatz was sitting in the doorway, looking at them. Stella shouted, "Get out of here. Nobody likes you. And this is our stuff. HAG."

It was such a rush until Stella realized that they were 600 yards above the rest of the down. They would have to walk down stairs for an eternity. Regier grabbed her for one last hug and he leaped over the side railing of the stone staircase. Stella saw him grabbing trees and bushes and sliding down the dirt to the street below. He was so suave. Stella would have to take the stairs. She couldn't do all the sliding with the Famous Dave's bag. So she began her descent. Stella looked longingly at the hardware store below and wished she was there instead. As she turned back to look at the stairs a very large man was standing there. Obviously startled, Stella whacked him with the bag and jumped back as much as she could without falling into the man.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry. I was j-j-just walking down from this h-house. A b-b-bus dropped me off up there. I just need to get home. Sorry to be in your way," Stella stammered. Then she ran. She ran as fast as she could. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she quietly swore under her breath and drudged homeward.

You're a Jerk

Stella was getting tired as she drove the long dark road. The occasional street lamp at least added some interest to the drive. Her heart was heavy, Luanne had been abducted and severely abused. And even though Stella didn't really know Luanne, the thought of such an action really weighed on her.

As she arrived at the house she could see it was bubbling with the life of the 8 girls who lived there. Mersa was standing on the porch and walked over to Stella's car to greet her. "Took you long enough to get here," she said. "Oh shut up. I'm here." Stella snapped.

The pair went into the house and Stella was very impressed with the house. She walked to the back bedroom and was floored at it's beauty. The floor was sunken about 3 feet lower than the rest of the house, and on the far end of the room were 6 glass doors that led out to a small deck. Beyond the deck was blackness, but Stella suspected that it was water.

Sitting in the room was Luanne, looking vacant but composed. Stella didn't want to talk to her, but as a formerly abducted and tortured person - she knew it was her responsibility.

"How are you doing, Luanne?" Stella asked quietly.

Luanne burst into tears and began babbling. Stella quickly got tired of listening and really just wanted to join the rest of the group in the living room. The only thing that would make it stop was a long and powerful hug. Stella raised her arms and tilted her head - Luanne fell into place. As Stella hugged and rocked Luanne she said "You're okay now. Everything is okay now. If you ever need to talk you can talk to me." Luanne stopped crying with a strange abruptness and Stella released her from the hug and slowly left the room.

As she walked into living, the other girls were looking at her expectantly. Stella raised her arms above her head and mouthed, "GOAL!"

The BoringJones Gang

Stella was excited to be working at the new office directly behind her house. The abandon school had some neat architechture that Stella lost herself in. Memmories of her elementary days came flooding back to her each morning at her desk. One joy of being so close to home was that she could go home during her breaks and be on her own turf.

As Stella stepped outside the building, she saw a gold 1993 Honda Accord sitting in the driveway outside the backyard fence. She wondered who was at the house- it wouldn't be her mother. She quietly entered through the backdoor and spotted the perpetrators: BoringJones and all her boring friends. They had some lime-green substance that they were smoking and BoringJones had positioned herself at the head of Stella's kitchen table. Her feet were placed upon the table and her ugly furry boots were getting dirty water all over Stella's table. That explained a lot.

"BoringJones I don't know what you're doing here. You need to leave right now before I call the cops," Stella raged.

BoringJones only looked up took a puff of the green liquid. After several minutes of pretending to be cool, she said "You won't really call the cops."

But Stella already had. The moment she saw the car in the drive she called for back up. She had told the officers just to enter the house unannounced. As they filed in behind Stella in the kitchen, BoringJones lost what little color she had in her face.

"What is that, that you're smoking in my house?" Stella asked.

"It's nothing. Just green water. Nothing like the drugs that YOU have stashed all around this joint. Why do you think we come to your place while you're gone," BoringJones droned.

"You are so stupid. I don't have drugs in the house because I'm not nasty like you. I have a real personality and real friends and I don't keep drugs in my house."

The officers had finished their round up of BoringJones' gang and placed them in their cruisers. One officer walked up with his cap in hand and looked sorrowfully at Stella. "I'm afraid what they are smoking is a very powerful drug. It causes extreme mold growth in any location it's used. Stella, I'm sorry."

Stella's raged ticked into high gear and she focused in on BoringJones with incredible intensity.

"You would dare bring this trash into my house? Put my family and me at risk with your nonsense? Destroy my property and accuse me of keeping drugs in the house?...." Stella was trembling and couldn't get the next words out.

The Chief Officer put his hand on Stella's shoulder. "Stella, there are options. With all of this being true, you have the right to behead BoringJones right now. You can also slowly exact your revenge, but after 6 months you can not inflict death of any person in the group."

Stella thanked the officers and showed them to the door. BoringJones was still sitting in her kitchen, though far less smug. Stella locked all the doors and went back to BoringJones.

"Well...you blew it this time, BJ. You blew it big time."

She was at peace

Psychoanalysts

The elementary school cafeteria was bustling with activity. Stella could feel herself getting annoyed, but she tried to compose herself. Soon she would be meeting with a team of psychoanalysts and she didn't want to appear crazy. She approached the round table and sat in one of the blue plastic chairs.

"Stella, it is our recommendation that you under go extreme psychotherapy. You are severely depressed and hyper violent."

Stella was shocked. Outraged. She could feel the fury taking over.

"This is the biggest scam in the history of the world. I'm not depressed. I'm not violent and I CAN control my temper. You guys are idiots. I am out of here."

Still snarling, Stella made her way to the big yellow school bus. As she loaded the bus she found that the inside had tall-backed leather seats. At least the seats were nice. She picked a seat near the front and slumped down. Those idiots didn't know anything about her. Stella closed her eyes in an attempt to get some rest before arriving at camp. The psychoanalysts all loaded the bus and took their seats near the middle. Stella knew that they were sitting there so they could observe her, but she wasn't going to give them a show. She would only sit silently in her seat and roll her eyes with gusto.

At the camp, Stella was told that she would be staying in a cabin with her sister. They would be co-counselors. It struck her as a little funny because she had never had to be co-counselor before. She took her things to the cabin and realized that the only open bunk was the one directly in front of the door. Her annoyance was paramount.

She walked over to the dining hall and began to walk up the step when a girl came rushing up next to her. Startled and feeling mean, Stella used the butt of her hand to punch the girl to the ground. The psychoanalysts were standing behind her and as Stella looked up, she saw all 4 of them shaking their heads with grave disapproval.

The young girl went running back to the cabin and Stella trailed slowly behind. "I wish those stupid psychoanalysts would stop following me. This is none of their business and I don't have an anger problem. GAH!" she thought. Her boss and mentor, T-bone, walked up next to her.

"Hey kid. What's going on? Punching a girl doesn't seem much like you?"
"It's not, T-bone, but these stupid psychoanalysts won't stop following me. I can't get any peace and they are making me more crazy. Not less crazy."
"Why don't you go apologize to the girl and then you can come hide with me. I'll protect you."
"Thanks T. I'll be back"

Stella walked to the screen window of the cabin where she saw the girl crying.

"I'm really sorry I hit you. I shouldn't have done that, but I did. I feel horrible and I hope you can forgive me," Stella said. And she walked away before the girl could say anything. T-bone was shaking his head and smiling as Stella turned and came to him. T-bone hugged Stella and with her arm around his waist, they walked to his room.

"I knew I didn't have any problems. Thanks for keeping those idiots away from, T" Stella said as she sat down on the folding chair in T-bone's room.

Stella could see the psychoanalysts from the window of the room. They were holding up signs that said "You are a killer" and "You will suffer the consequences". Stella only shrugged and watched T-bone prepare to shave his stubbly face.

Ghostbuster

"Just mix together some cornbread mix and kool-aid. It makes the perfect hair dye," crooned the old woman.


...

Stella was feeling a little nervous as she walked into her old High School. Luckily, everything she needed was set up on the walkway above the cafeteria. She sat down at the little desk and navigated to the NHS students page.

After several minutes frustrated clicking, TJ came up to Stella to see what was wrong.
"You know, that thing won't work if you click so hard. What's the big problem."
"I'm just trying to see what classes I can take and what I'm already registered for. Can't I do that online?" Stella huffed.
"This is a high school. We don't do that. And what are you doing in High School anyway?"
"I had to come back to take a basic math class. I skipped over it when I was a student here and now I have to come back and take it. Can you believe that they're making a math major take a basic High School math class? Ridiculous."

Stella was silently chuckling to herself as TJ walked away. Left to her own devices, Stella smacked the computer monitor and a list of classes showed up. As she scrolled through the list, Mr. Nickel's name appeared several times. "I thought he was fired..." Stella thought. But as she looked up, she saw him standing near her desk.

"Mr. Nickel, I thought you were ghostbusting now. What happened to those big plans?"
"I was going to do that, but then the school said they wouldn't fire me if I stopped dancing. So I just stopped and I don't need to be a ghostbuster."
"How could you let me down like this? I was going to make t-shirts," Stella clipped.

Consternation

Stella and Mckenzie were absolutely thrilled about the Captain's wedding. They were almost finished setting up. Everything was done except the chairs. The Captain wanted to set up the chairs by herself.

"Oh. My." Mckenzie whispered. Stella hadn't seen the Captain yet, but she turned expecting to see a vision of beauty.

Instead she saw the Captain in a wheel chair. Struggling to drag stacks of white, plastic chairs into the ballroom.

"Let us help you, sweetie," Mckenzie called to their friend.

"No thanks! I got it. You guys look great. This will be a good wedding!" The Captain responded.

Stella and Mckenzie looked at one another in silent horror.

Picking Up Ladies

Emilio was curled on his side while he was sleeping. It was okay, but Stella wanted him to turn on his other side.

"Emilio, why do you always sleep like that?"

"Because, Stella, that's how you get all the ladies."

Stella merely turned her body toward him, became the big spoon, and went to sleep.

Reunions

Stella woke up with a startle. She had been sleeping on the puffy green couch in the basement of the house. She was late to something, but she couldn't remember what. She looked around at the dingy cave and laid eyes on Al Bundy. He was heckling her while she slept.

"What time is it?" she asked him.

"Past time for you to get up! That couch is a kill, eh?" he shouted.

"You don't need to shout. I'm right here. I guess I'm going upstairs to get ready."

Stella grabbed the blankets and wrapped them around her shoulders. She couldn't remember what she had to do that evening that she might have been late for. But as she saw Hector's face she knew. The Orchestra Reunion Concert with Sluttrell! She couldn't miss that. Hector was loitering at the top of stairs and he had a large smirk on his face.

"Why are you still high?" he scoffed.

"I'm not, dumbass. I just woke up. Where is Regier? I told him I'd find him when I woke up."

"Well he's upstairs, but you'll only get high if you go up there."

"Hector, you don't know what you're talking about. Just shove it okay."

Stella's annoyance almost outweighed her excited about seeing Regier, but she quickly caught herself and happily bounded up the stairs. In the center of the room was a large group of them: Regier, Dallas, and other familiar faces. Regier ran to the top of the stairs to meet Stella and they hugged for several minutes. Too happy to do anything other than squeeze, squeal, and sway. After a long period, the words finally came.

"Stella! I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you so much."

"Me too, Regier. I've got to get changed for this concert tonight. Can you help me out?"

"Of course! What do you need?"

"Well. I need to find my clothes and a cello...." Stella said a little hesitantly.

"Yeah. No problem. Your clothes are hanging in the bathroom and I can get you a cello. Do you want to smoke a little?"

Stella could never resist Regier's offers. So the pair went into the bathroom and furiously sucked away at the side of the apple. "Thanks, Regier. You always know how to relax me. Now go find me a cello while I get dressed!"

He rushed off to find her an instrument. Stella looked at the clothes that were hanging in the bathroom. A silk, salmon colored tank top. With glitter. And long flowing black pants? She was really skeptical, but she put the clothes on anyway and ran out the bathroom, down the stairs and into the street....

As she reached the high school her heart was beating a thousand beats per minute. She counted each beat and thought she would die. The flood lights, the red carpet, the gowns, tuxes, and glamour were all too much. "Everybody is really going all out for this thing," Stella thought, "I wonder if anybody knows I'll be here."

She walked to the orchestra door and slowly pushed it open. It was a room full of men in tuxes, clutching their instruments as they chattered away. Sluttrell walked in the door, clapped his hands once and said "It's time to go." Stella pushed her way through the crowd toward him and his face lit up when he saw her. Stella had never been so happy. Sluttrell grabbed a cello and bow for her and began to walk out towards stage. She walked at his side and the papparazzi went wild. Stella smiled for all she was worth.

They were playing a simple song in 4/4 time. It was a jazzy tune and just ahead in the music were some quarternotes that started on the And of 1. The orchestra panic. Sluttrell tried to show them what to do, but he was conducting every one else. Orchestra members began to rise from their chairs and run into the audience. The MC got on the mic and tried to reassure the audience that the piece would go on as planned. Stella knew she couldn't mess this up. She confidently began clapping the notes. She could count music and she had never been so proud. It was then that she looked off the end of the stage to see a second orchestra of older professionals. In the second cello chair was her best friend, Alice. Alice smiled and gave Stella a thumbs up. Stella had never been more proud.

2D

The dread of asking people for money loomed over Stella as she trudged toward the pink house. She thought to herself, "This house looks really familiar. I think I might live here." Instead of ringing the doorbell, she decided just to walk in and see what happened. Standing near the door was a tall, slender figure.

Marge Simpson walked a little closer. "Lisa, you're home. I've been waiting for you!"

Stella looked around to be sure that nobody had entered the house with her. After looking over each shoulder, she looked down at her self. Spiky red dress, big white pearls. She lifted her hand to the top of her head. Points.

"Hi, mom. I'm selling crayons to do some fundraising for a big cause. Will you buy some?"

"Sure, Lisa. Tell me about your crayons."

"Well. I'm trying to only sell the red ones because that gets the biggest profit."

"What about this mustard yellow one."

"Mom, the red ones cost you less and make more money for non-profit organizations. Don't get the yellow one."

"Lisa, I don't think that's a very good business model. I'll take the yellow crayon."

Stella's frustration overwhelmed her as she collected some money from Marge. She let out a big sigh, slumped forward and slowly walked up the stairs.

Decisions

Stella looked down at her body. Frills, bows, and ribbons. And she didn't know why she was wearing a white powdered wig but after a quick trip to the mirror she realized she was Thomas Jefferson. Stella ran out the doors of Monticello and over to Mt. Vernon to visit her best friend, George Washington.

Washington was distraught. Grabbing at his wig, wringing his hands, and pacing about the room.

"George, what's wrong?" Stella asked.

"Something is not right. My wife has died and now my kids are in danger."

"What kind of danger? Maybe I can help you out of this."

"I don't know. I don't know! But this are going to be bad. Will you stay here tonight? In the State Room?"

"Of course, George. I'll stay."

Stella began to settle into the state room. A large storm had rolled in and she began to wondering if George Washington was frightened of storms. She pulled the heavy covers up over her chest and adjusted her night cap for the last time before closing her eyes and taking one deep breath. Washington burst into the room and lightning illuminated him from the windows behind.

"You have to come quick. Go out to the stable and prepare the horses. We ride tonight."

"George, what are you talking about? Everything is fine," Stella cooed.

"You fool. The British are coming and we don't have any time for you doubting, Thomas," Washington snipped.

"Okay, George, okay. I'll go out to the stable and prepare everything. You should get dressed. At least try to escape with dignity."

Stella quickly dressed, but decided not to wear the wig. It would be a mess in the rain. She went out to the stable and found a lantern lit. The horses were already tied up at the door, waiting to be mounted.

Washington came running out of his home and un-hitched his horse. "Come on! We have to go FAST, " he shouted as he began to disappear into the night.

Stella wondered why Washington didn't wake his children.

Diana

Stella sleepily stepped out of her car at the airport. "I'm glad I always carry my passport," she thought. As she grabbed her bags from the backseat she saw Clara. Clara looked tired as well, but they had arrived in time for the van shuttle over to the plane. The rest of the group was starting to load vans.

"I can't believe I'm going on this trip," Stella said.
"Yeah. Let's get in the front van. Nobody ever sits in the front van and then we can be alone, " Clara suggest.

So they walked to the large white Astro van that headed the caravan. They climbed in with all their things and settled into the middle seat. Diana Ross was sitting in the front seat of the van with the driver. Stella and Clara calmly greeted the star and thanked her for joining them on their trip.

As the van pulled up to the plane, Bruno was standing outside with his arms crossed.


"How dare you?!" he barked.
"What's the problem?" asked Clara.
"You two have the nerve to drive here together AND to ride in the van with Diana?"
"But we didn't come together. Both of our cars are in the parking garage. Go check if you don't believe us," Stella blurted "And we didn't know we were in the Diana van. Everybody else was already loading the other vans. We just picked that van because nobody was in it."
"Nobody in this group wanted you here in the first place and then you go a take away their chance to ride to the airplane with Diana Ross. You'll have to be punished, " Bruno told the girls.

He turned the group who was now seated in the glamorous dining hall that sat near the runway.
"These two drove to the airport together and they rode in the van with Diana Ross. If you wanted to ride in the van with Diana, please raise your hand."

All of the hands went up. Stella was getting nervous. This group was vicious and she didn't want to make them angry.

Bruno began again..."If you think these two should be punished for their actions against the group, please raise your hand."

All of the hands went up. Stella turned to Clara and whispered, " we have to do something. They'll tear us to shreds if we don't. They have to know the truth." Clara shook her head and muttered "it's too late for all of that."

It was then that Stella realized that Diana Ross would cause her death.